Victoria is a 42 year old woman, married to a Malayan man. Given up for adoption by her biological parents, she grew up in her adoptive family with a younger and older boy, both of them also adopted. This had been a happy time for her.

Her ‚mother’ and ‚father’ loved her, and vice versa. At some stage, her father separated from her mother as he was externally orientated with a zest for life while her mother was more domestic and restrictive. Even today, Victoria has a close and lively relationship with her adoptive father who she occasionally goes on trips with and meets on a weekly basis. He is a psychiatrist.

Drugs, cigarettes and alcohol were features of Victoria’s teenage years and early adulthood, despite the happy life with her adoptive parents. She still smokes like a chimney. After all these years, her body has been poisoned and appears bloated, even fat. However, she is very lively, affectionate and mobile, very devoted - a heart creature. We talked to each other during the first seven days I stayed at Hobbit Hotel in September. We got to the topic very quickly.

She is usually in the house between 8 am and 12 noon, and again in the evening between 4.30 and 7 pm. During this time we arranged a few times to do something together. But it never worked out. On each occasion, she either cancelled by phone at short notice or she did not contact me and the date just passed. Later, it turned out regularly that the few encounters between us in the house led to massive impacts on her body in the nights and weekends following.

When she took me to Island Bay, we arranged another meeting, to take place in the first week. She wanted to collect me to drive around with me for a bit. She did not contact me, and she did not come, either. I did not get in touch from Island Bay.

For a while, I regarded her as unreliable. I heard nothing from her for the five weeks. Only on the last day in Island Bay, when I phoned her in the evening and asked if she would collect me in the morning and take me with her to Hobbit Hotel, was she surprised that I was still there. She had thought that I had wanted to go hiking somewhere on North Island, otherwise she would have phoned me from time to time, she said. Yes, I had indeed spoken about hiking on North Island but everything turned out differently, and I had also forgotten her. So I had been unreliable as well.

In fact, as it happened, it was good for us not to have seen each other. I had hardly arrived in Island Bay, when her healing crisis, part 2, started. Physically and maritally, forces were in motion before they were smoothed out in a new balance. It took four weeks and her adoptive father’s help to bring her and Ahmad, her husband, to realise that a crisis is a healing process and that they should not take decisions before having reached an inner peace, each for him/herself. This way, both changed internally.

It was hard to believe! I had just arrived back at Hobbit Hotel after these weeks away, just seen Victoria again and she fell ill right away - AGAIN. Our arrangement for Sunday when we wanted to visit the West coast could not take place because she was confined to bed with stomach aches and diarrhoea. After having been to Kaitoke Park yesterday, 31 October, we saw each other again today, 1 November, in the kitchen of Hobbit Hotel. Luckily she was on duty, otherwise we would probably not have seen each other.

She had very precise questions. She had developed great clarity after the ‚washing cycles’ of the last few weeks. She was wide-awake and lively when asking her questions, while her eyes fell shut regularly during the answers. The talk fluctuated strongly between highest alertness when she asked her questions and deep regeneration when listening to the answers. My English flowed with great ease. I would never claim that it was always correct but vocabulary and word order just fell into place. Gaps in the language after 25 years of abstinence did not prove a hurdle. My words constituted an almighty stream.

I would like to present the basics of the conversation, as it is significant.

She talked about the Sunday she spent in bed. Much had gone through her, she felt pain like never before and she cried without ‚any reason’. All this had astonished and shaken her.

Her first question was: ‚What is happening with me?’

I said:’ There are reasons for you having cried so much and having been in pain. You won’t remember the reasons because they lie far back in the past and they lie outside your own experiences. I’d like to explain it to you. A child absorbs all its parents’ energies and substances they have within them at the point, when forming its body as an embryo, especially their pain and negative feelings. This is because the child’s body is created from their bodies. This way you shouldered their pain and also your grandparents’ pain, because it is them who passed it to your parents who in turn passed it on to you. This way you also took over your great-grandparents’ pain and that of all your ancestors and predecessors. This does not mean that they now don’t feel any more pain. It only means that you have to endure it. Everybody communicates their feelings and pain to their descendents. They have shared their feelings and pain with you. ‚Sharing’ doesn’t mean ‚halving’ or ‚reducing’ it, as we know it in our earthly space. In spiritual-energetic space, ‚sharing’ means multiplying and enlarging. Division multiplies.

In your case, it has to be considered that you didn’t grow up with your birth parents from the beginning but with adoptive parents. There’s a reason for that: you have chosen it. We’ll talk about this another time. You absorbed pain from your adoptive parents as well, not via the body but via feelings and thoughts, via your emotional field. Their parents and grandparents had passed their pain to them before. This way you’re carrying the negative emotional inheritance of four parents and many generation lines in you, Victoria.’

‚Oh’, and it sounds depressed, ‚that’s a lot.’

‚Yes, that’s true. Added to this is the fact that you are the type of Mother Mary, a human being who’s come for others, a mother who wants to gather up all the children on earth and console and heal them. This wish, this spiritual strength (innate gift) is within you. Therefore you began gathering the pain of others in early childhood. You gathered it but you didn’t let go. This is why your body is full of it. During your teenage years you tried to anaesthetize this tremendous inner pain and restlessness with drugs, cigarettes and alcohol and ended up poisoning your body even more. Now your body is full of pain- energies from millennia and generations of families, from your childhood and teenage years, and material poisons. These are not only your energies. They belong to everybody. They are, however, stored in your body because you absorbed them. What has been happening in the nights and at the weekends since our first meeting is called a ‚healing crisis’. Whenever you feel sick or need to cry or sleep, nothing more is happening but the release of these old pain energies. To accomplish this, your body is ‚de-activated’. It now releases these painful energies because you allowed it to (from your higher consciousness).’

‚But what have you got to do with it?’

‚I just reinforce the process. On a physical level, I’m explaining things, which your mind needs to know to relax and free itself from guilt. On the spiritual-energetic level, I’m letting the power of my love flow inside you. That increases the effect of the change considerably.’

Then the following question came from her: „How does it work?“

‚Look at the laundry you have just put into the washing machine for me. Imagine, you yourself are the laundry and located in the washing machine. The washing machine has a soaking, main and spin cycle. Depending on what is happening inside you, you are in either the soaking, main or spin cycle. You can feel it very clearly: tiredness and lethargy correspond to the soaking cycle, crying, pain, fever and illness to the main cycle, and emotional instability and mental disorientation, not knowing whether you are coming or going, corresponds to the spin cycle. There you’re being spun around between feelings and thoughts, between inside and outside.

And at some stage later, you’re hanging in the sun on the washing line. You are drying, hanging loose, allow the wind to rock you to and fro, and your soul to dangle. Suddenly a ray of sunshine falls on your ‚sheet of life’ and you are enlightened. Suddenly you know something you never knew before, feel something you never felt before. Suddenly you have a strength you never had before.

She asks:’ How does it go on?

’Well, it’s quite simple. Your body is clearer than ever before. Your consciousness stretches further than you knew. You have moments of happiness without knowing why. But not everything can be washed out in one go. At another stage, it will be time for a new cycle and you will be hanging on the line again. And again, a ray of sunshine will fall on your sheet. ‚Illumination’ isn’t an ultimate flash of lightning, which will change your life from one moment to the next. It’s a ray of your own spiritual consciousness, which arrives in exactly the dose, which is appropriate for your consciousness at that point in time and in your life.

So, for a while the washing cycles and hanging on the line will be taking turns. This continues until all substances of suffering, pain and physical poisons have been released from your life. It continues until the light of your divine spirit has penetrated your physical body. That is when your body will be clean and your consciousness clear and wide open.’

‚Will I then be able to do things like you?’

‚Of course, in your own way, you will do the same. But rest assured, as far as I’m concerned, a few more washing cycles lie ahead of me yet.’

‚Does that never stop?’

‚Yes, of course, it will stop some time. To put it in other words, it changes from time to time, anyway. It will become easier and more enjoyable. The only thing that never stops is LIFE.

Then I told her about the book I want to write about ‚Lord of the Rings’, about the spiritual background of the story, which is highly relevant for many people these days. I mentioned that the jeweller in Nelson who had made the One Ring 40 times, perfected its form and given it to Peter Jackson’s film crew, died immediately afterwards. He died before the film was finished. He did not live to see his masterpiece in the film. This had affected me deeply when I heard of it, and now Victoria is trembling, too.

She asks:’ How is this possible?’

‚I don’t know about the jeweller’s life, his feelings and thoughts, his hopes and problems. But I know the principle of the ring, its effect. The ‚One Ring’ basically does the same as me: it polarises the forces and pulls them to the surface from unconscious spaces, into direct feelings, thoughts and actions.’

‚But this is only a story, a film.’

A beam darts from my heart to her and speaks through me:’ There isn’t any story, or film, which isn’t closely interwoven with human life. A story depicts exactly what is happening in your life. It only uses different people, names and figures. But everything that happens in the story also happens within you. It would be better to say: everything happening in the stories has previously happened within you and left traces in your bodies, souls and spirits. These stories are only a new means of expressing old experiences. If that were not so, these stories could neither be written nor could they touch you. The battle fields of Middle Earth lie in your bodies and souls.’

She looks at me in disbelief:’ How does the ring pull up the forces?’

‚Before I explain this to you, let’s talk a bit about light and darkness. On the one hand, it will help you understand what is happening with you (and many other people) at the moment. On the other, it’s necessary in order to understand the effect of the ring.

Nowadays, most people live in the grey cloud of their consciousness. They think they are human but don’t know what it really means to be human beings. They don’t know that they consist of darkness and light, that heaven and earth are their homes. They don’t know that they are creators and creatures, angels and devils, life and death. They know that light and darkness exist but they don’t really know what light and darkness really are. They wish for light and reject darkness. This is exactly the reason why there is more darkness in their lives than light. However, this is no pure darkness but an undifferentiated grey mass.

Human beings oscillate between these poles. They can’t assess them because they don’t know their nature. But whoever doesn’t know the nature of light and darkness doesn’t know their own nature. Most people are not conscious of the meaning of light and darkness for their lives. They can’t differentiate between them because they don’t know their characteristics and purpose. And yet, these two poles direct their unconscious feelings and thoughts! Light and darkness have a cardinal influence on people. They direct them through life, from birth to death. They are completely bound by these two poles.’

I pause briefly. Victoria’s eyes are closed. The next ‚soaking cycle’ is already active. Her heart is wide open and many grey veils of ignorance, confusion and obscurity are released from her aura. She comes to again, looks at me and only says: ’Oh.’

It is not the information, which astonishes her and makes her sleepy but the spirit of the words, her own spirit, which speaks through me. It has aimed at releasing all grey energies, which had to be dealt with in today’s encounter. It is not my spirit which flows into her but her own higher spirit which I am connected to at the moment. It uses my presence and tongue to clear her body and life. For this, it called me to New Zealand already two years ago. For this reason we have now met.

The same may be happening if you read this text with an open heart. You may feel sleepy and unable to read it in one go. This is not necessary at all, sleep is much more important. It offers the power of change and healing. These words contain a great potential for change you can make use of. I continue speaking:

‚Most people don’t know that 50% of their own bodies consist of dark and 50% of light forces (compare the heart light of the inner organs). Despite not knowing anything about their dark feelings and energies, they reject them. They wouldn’t be capable of living without the dark forces. But they don’t know this, so they reject them. They battle against them and this way, they subconsciously say NO to themselves all the time.’

The only darkness inside human beings that needs to be redeemed is REJECTION, saying NO to oneself and the eternal BATTLE AGAINST ONESELF. And anyway, this isn’t really darkness but a grey zone (often gloomy) in which dark and light energies got stuck to the same degree.

As long as human beings are in a grey field of consciousness, they don’t know anything about the nature of darkness or light. They don’t know what to do or what to leave alone. Often they are at the wrong place at the right time, open their mouths when they should be silent, or are silent when they should speak, simply because they don’t know what it’s really all about, what’s going on backstage, simply because they can’t read the signs.

Victoria asks:’ But how can I learn to read the signs and to understand what’s it all about?’

‚Oh, you can’t learn it’, I say with a smile, ’you already have this knowledge inside you. Every person has it inside them. It’s just hidden behind the grey foggy wall of your consciousness. You’ve only forgotten it. You cannot learn it but you will remember it piece by piece, while the grey mists disappear.’

„She asks: ‚What I must do for the mists to disappear?’

‚Nothing at the moment’, I reply, ‚we’re already at it. You’ve already got three or four laundry cycles behind you, haven’t you? And just now we’re at the fourth or fifth.’

She’s becoming restless:’ But what will I do when you’re back in Europe?’

‚Oh, Victoria, it won’t matter when or where I am. The HERE and NOW are important. Before I go, you will have redeemed so much grey energy that you can move on by yourself. You’ll get your washing cycles without me being near you. You will soon be able to assess the inner processes better. Therefore you’ll deal differently with what will happen. You’ll be calmer and more relaxed. Besides, there is this marvellous ’world wide web’ through which we can communicate across space and time. When the time has come, we’ll make use of it. The words will come via the internet and e-mail and the spirit will flow all the time, independent of time and space.

‚And do you know, you’re not the only one who’s taking part in this conversation, not the only one who is looking for her path among the grey veils of mist. We’ll let many people participate in this conversation and its power for change.

But let’s continue. So, people rarely know what’s good for them or not. They could realise at a certain point that what they are doing harms them. Yet they don’t because they don’t understand the nature of light. In another instance, they could make a decision, which could clearly improve their lives. But they don’t because they don’t understand the nature of darkness.

It’s exactly this situation the ONE RING exploits ’shamelessly’. What it does, presently happens worldwide. That’s why stories like ‚Lord of the Rings’ and ‚Harry Potter’ are so successful. They show exactly what is happening at the inner levels at the moment.

The ONE RING polarises the darkness in people. It consists of the essence of all human horror. Its power is gigantic. It beams this power where the hidden darkness of feeling is concealed, to the heart, body cells and energy fields of a human being. The gigantic, obvious darkness of the ring encounters the comparatively trifling darkness within the person. The effect is an immediate resonance in which the concealed darkness of the person shoots upwards, combines with the darkness of the ring and dominates it. The person isn’t him/herself any more.

That is how the homeopathic principle works: with extreme poison you can remove inner poison from your body. It just depends on the dose. It must be finely tuned in order to function. The ’One Ring’ has an extremely high dose, which it uses without inhibition and in ‚undiluted’ form. The emotional darkness of a human being, when treated this way, has no chance of healing or of staying strong and independent. The ring does not pull up human darkness in order to free people of it but to dominate them. It pulls people so deeply into its own darkness that they lose all contact to their own light. This is the fate of all creatures, which Sauron has enslaved, the state of not being alive and not being dead. Life slid into twilight, into the shadow-death. It has become bound to a more powerful will.

The important thing is that the victim does not suffer from the dark power of the ring but from the power of its own retained and unacknowledged darkness. It has simply swung unnaturally high. The ring cannot unload its own darkness onto anybody. Therefore there are people (and hobbits), the ring can do little to, because their own hearts are predominantly free of hidden darkness.

We find the opposite to the One Ring in the many so-called ‚gurus’ who found their teachings exclusively on light. They see darkness as something evil, which needs to be fought, rejected and destroyed. They pull their followers so far into supposed light that the connection with their own dark gets ripped. Such ‚spiritually and esoterically off-lifted’ people soon lose the ground under their feet and the contact to themselves. The entire ecclesiastical and societal structure is based on that.

Human darkness, however, is an integral part of people’s earthly existence. If they condemn and negate it, they cut their living connection with it. Inevitably, the opposite of what they hope for will happen: the condemned darkness surges upward and if need be, it will find a violent means of expression. Such people are caught in their own darkness in the same way as those who followed the One Ring. The only difference is that they believe themselves to be in the light while everything around them is dipped in darkness. They withdraw from other people and disapprove of their actions. They become merciless towards and unappreciative of others. They do not accept other people’s life (and darkness). It is their own darkness which has a hold over these hypocritical ‚sun worshippers’ without them knowing it.

Victoria says: ‘That is amazing and shocking. How can I know which guru can really help me?’

‘The true gurus of all nations, religions and ages have always taught about the balance between darkness and light. They taught of respect and differentiation between the poles. They taught people not to judge others, they taught acceptance, concentration and dance. Dancing, the Sufi whirls around his own axis of life, which consists of darkness and light, of body and spirit. He spins around God in his heart, which consists of a dark and light chamber, and this way he produces balance and order in his life whenever these have been knocked out of joint. True gurus teach mercy and inner clarity for making one’s own decisions and choices in life. They taught unconditional LOVE and forgiveness. These are the preconditions for power and independence. They taught evolutionary principles: cause and effect as well as order and balance between the poles of light and darkness. A true guru does not reprimand you for murder but for insincerity.

The principle of guilt and repentance and the principle of sentence and execution are extremely primitive simplifications of great cosmic laws. In no time, they turned freedom and growth into captivity and decay.

The only true guru of help to you is YOUR HEART, nobody beside you, not me, either. I can give you hints which might bring clarity into your grey walls of mist and which might strengthen your ability for differentiation and your power of taking decisions. I can answer your questions if you have any. During that time, the guru of your heart will awaken by itself.

The true and sound darkness and the true and sound light together result in: pure life. These are bi-polar forces: Darkness contains a light core, and light contains a dark core. There is a free flowing exchange between these two poles. You know the Ying-Yang symbol. Sound darkness and light take over from each other and often exchange roles.

They have not been predetermined but are changeable. Often, darkness takes over the role of light in your life because the light cannot manage by itself what needs to be done.

Victoria asks: „How do they do that?“

‚Here’s a very simple example: you want to take the bus to work on a Monday morning, are looking forward to the day (light) because you have an important and pleasant appointment (light). Someone has offered you the job of your dreams. You wake up with ghastly stomach cramps on this Monday morning (darkness), which force you to stay in bed and bother you all day (darkness). You’re really upset (darkness) about the missed appointment (darkness), which you thought to be the chance of a lifetime (light), and you know you won’t get this chance a second time (darkness). You feel a failure and separated from the rest of the world, lonely and lost in the corner with the other losers (a lot of darkness). In the evening you learn that the bus, you would have taken, had an accident. It rolled down a slope, burnt down, and all passengers died (a huge lot of darkness). The darkness of your stomach aches saved your life. The light of your spirit arranged it for you.

Let’s continue spinning this yarn further: a week later it becomes clear to you that the appointment in the office would have led you into a temptation you wouldn’t have been able to resist. You would have regretted your decision a short while later (a lot of darkness). Can you see that the minor darkness of your stomach aches saved you from the major darkness of a bitter experience. The light arranged the horrible stomach pains for you. They exchanged roles: the light appeared as darkness, and the darkness revealed itself as light.

’Victoria nods: „Yes, I understand.“

‚Right, let’s continue with our topic. The present darkness in the world is unsound. It’s not proper darkness but a gigantic grey mass without neither pure darkness nor brilliant light.

The darkness of the One Ring (Sauron in ‚The Lord of the Rings’ and ‚The Dark Lord’ in Harry Potter), the so-called evil or black magic, isn’t any longer a grey mass but gloomy and inscrutable darkness. But it’s an unsound darkness without a light core.

It can’t communicate with light, it can’t take turns with it, it can’t change. It’s caught within itself, it’s at its own mercy, it can never change into light by itself. It would be damned to stay in hell forever if ‚true death’ didn’t come along.

The exchange of light and darkness doesn’t only take place in one’s personal life only but also in collective spaces and times, in our ages. The apocalypse is such a cosmic moment when light and darkness collectively change roles. In order for this uni-polar darkness, which is caught within itself, for this not-living and not-dead grey not to get lost forever but to be able to change again, it must TRULY be killed.

Pure light (change and eternal life) sends pure darkness (death) for the dead life of the black magician and the living death of Satan to be released. In the stories ‚Lord of the Rings’ and ‚Harry Potter’ there is an abundance of scenes where the ‚goodies’ kill the ‚baddies’ where sound light and darkness together release the unsound shadow existence.

I pause briefly for thought and hear myself say: ’We’ll talk repeatedly about the nature of dying and death in the time to come. There are a few secrets to be lifted.’

Victoria’s eyes sparkle, and her aura has brightened up enormously. At the same time she appears very tired. She makes more coffee. The sun is high in the sky. The breakfast dishes of the house guests is still in the hatch. The phone remains silent, nobody is coming, we cannot be interrupted. We’re in the centre of Wellington yet in a different world.

‚Let’s return to our personal, human darkness, to our emotional, mental and physical darkness, let’s get back to our important ‚survival’ darkness’, I say. ‚ The battle against this darkness is a battle against half of our being, a battle against ourselves, a permanent NO to our soul and spirit. This battle against this kind of darkness is a new denial of our own godliness, our power, wisdom and ability to love. The energy wasted in this battle takes away all our vigour. The denial of our own darkness blocks the progress of our entire personality.

It doesn’t matter at all if the ring pulls us into darkness where there is no light or if the ‚hypocrite’ pulls us into light where there is no darkness. They both split light from darkness, revere the one and condemn the other.’

Victoria asks: ‚ What have you got to do with it? Why do you say that you have a similar effect as the ring?’.

Well, in a way, I also split light and darkness in people I work with. I polarise it, too. I dive into your grey zones and extract unsound light and unsound darkness as well as sound light and sound darkness. The difference between me and the ring, as well as the ‚hypocrite’, is that I pull up the energies of both poles and don’t differentiate between them, that I don’t condemn or fight either of them.

I don’t extract the stuck energies from you for them to dominate you so that you lose your self-control, but for you to recognise and acknowledge them as part of YOUR SELVES. Only in this way, you bring these painful energies into a free flow of your live where they change into light forces by themselves. Do you see, it’s not about the question: what’s light (good) and what’s dark (bad) but about asking if the energies can flow freely or are stuck. Free flowing light and dark forces are sound, LIFE. Stuck light and dark forces are unsound, HORROR.

‚But I lost my temper a few times when I was confined to bed’, says Victoria. I often didn’t feel MYSELF, and these were moments of horror.’

„Yes’, I laugh, ’that’s the healing crisis. The merging energies and pains are so strong and enormous that you are at their mercy for a while. But this is a temporary state. It’s followed by a period of great inner clarity and strength.’

„Your job must be wonderful work. But it needs a lot of courage, doesn’t it?”

‘Yes, that’s true indeed. But it doesn’t just take courage on my part but on yours as well. Our joint courage is always asked for. My task and courage mean that I show you your darkness so that you can contemplate and understand it so you can honour it and respect the hidden service rendered for millennia. Your task and courage consists of doing exactly this: to enter the dark rooms and to trust yourselves.’

‚What do you mean by ’dark rooms’? Where are they, what do they look like, and how do we get there?’

‚Emotional darkness is primarily located in the belly, in the inner organs. It’s an intuitive form of energy, which we call emotions or feelings of instinct. There are passive ‚victim-energy’ forms such as injuries, pain, fear, feelings of inferiority and guilt, and active ‚offender-energy’ forms such as aggression, hate, envy and arrogance.

Mental darkness is mainly located in the head. It’s an intelligent energy, form which we sum up in the term ‚mentality’. There are passive forms such as perception, recognition, experience and memory, and active forms such as organisation, finding a balance, planning (strategy), control and revenge.

All these dark energies in belly and head are basically sound, i.e. neutral. They are tools for the mental and physical development of human beings. When they flow freely and find free expression, the person can make experiences and grow and mature with them. People test themselves with their help, learn to differentiate, become strong and wise. In this free flow, the ‚dark energies’ change by themselves and turn into ‚light forces’.

Problems only arise if they can’t flow freely, when we retain these energies within us and don’t lend them expression. Modern human society is conditioned to suppress these dark energies. This way, they remain unintelligible and scary and are labelled as forbidden, criminal, sick, abnormal, not aesthetic or immoral. Yet they are stirring within every human being, every day and at any moment, with each feeling and thought. Because they are suppressed on a personal and collective basis, they multiply in society and turn into anarchic, perverse and unpredictable forces, which always appear where nobody expects them – in private and public life.

The suppressed personal darkness in us says:’ There’s no light. There’s no hope. We won’t be able to cope. We have to fight or die. It’s other people’s fault if I become a culprit.’ Or: ‚We have to duck and simply persevere. We’ll die some time, then everything will be over.’

Most people have such extremely dramatic attitudes to life deeply embedded in their subconscious. They tend towards either aggression or depression, depending on their temperament or the situation, and these also take turns regularly. People are not at peace with themselves nor the world. They don’t love themselves. Many hate or despise themselves and make life hell for others as well.

Suppression, condemnation and damnation lead to uni-polarity. It’s fascinating that it doesn’t matter at all whether light or darkness gets suppressed and condemned. The result is the same in either case. Life energy gets into a rut, a grey zone. This way, a neutral, sound darkness is turned into an unsound, dangerous darkness (‚horror’, ‚evil’). As soon as enough has accumulated, it breaks free with a vengeance.

This can take the form of sickness (expression turned against oneself) or of aggression (expression turned against others). All sicknesses and attacks on others stem from nothing else but massively darkened life energies which have been retained for a long time and which one day blow their top with regard to self-control and launch their excess energetic pressure into the atmosphere. This all too sudden and uncontrolled expression of grey energy can be extremely painful, and even deadly, for the one concerned and others.

Breathe in and out deeply, open your hearts, and allow yourselves and them (your personal grey energies) to become free here and now. Allow them to become free, in a healthy dose and one after the other. Allow them to exchange with the light forces within you. Simply allow it, and it will happen because the energies abide by your will and your decision, and consequently also your permission.’

We’ll take a short break, and you, too, should take one before we take the next step into a different dimension of darkness.

Up to now, we’ve been speaking about the sound, personal darkness that can flow freely and can change, and about the unsound, personal darkness that is retained, suppressed and therefore claims its space violently. We’ve spoken about the uni-polar, black magic darkness that cannot change by itself, and about the bi-polar darkness that has a light core and therefore can change its form and nature. We’ve seen that light and darkness can change roles and carry out tasks for one another.

We stated that human beings are creators and creatures, that heaven and earth are their home. So now we could take a look at these dimensions.

There are two further light-darkness rooms: a) your personal higher light-darkness and b) the collective higher light-darkness.

‚Your personal higher light-darkness is of a spiritual nature. It isn’t an energy but spirit, intelligence. It represents your spiritual consciousness, your intelligent creative consciousness, your divine consciousness. These spiritual rooms are governed by the total knowledge of your life, your purpose in life, your way through life, your tasks and abilities, your forces and anti-forces, your strengths and weaknesses.

The rooms of the higher light-darkness are not separated from each other but, to get an impression, we can pretend that the higher light is high above us and the higher darkness far below us, both as an extension of our spine. This image corresponds best with its present effect, as we shall see later when we talk about Planetary Breath.

In the room of higher darkness, creatures of your creative spirit rule, an active and a passive group. Guides and leaders belong to the active group. Within a clear order and balance, they put hurdles into your path, which you’ll need in the course of your development to grow and mature. You’ll call them: temptations, challenges, pain and strokes of fate.

Guardians and safe keepers belong to the passive group of your higher darkness. They absorb all negative emotional power you did not want to have, express or shift . In your encounters with your hurdles throughout millennia you produced an infinite number of emotional energies, such as fury, hate, fear, aggression, greed, avarice, arrogance, feelings of guilt, inferiority and regret. However, most of the time, you didn’t want to have them or take them back. How often did you feel treated unjustly and didn’t consider de-escalating your warfare? Often you didn’t even register them, let alone change them into light forces. Therefore these emotional energies had to go somewhere.

They absorbed and collected everything you retained or rejected in the millennia of your life, all the pain you didn’t want or couldn’t stand, all oaths of vengeance you ever gave. They are the guardians of your darkness, masters of power and wisdom, which lie far above human consciousness.

They guarded and kept these energies because they knew how precious they are and how much you’ll need them one day when you’ve reached the point of your mastery. On that day, they’ll return your energies to you and put them at your disposal again. It is exactly that what’s happening with you at present, Victoria. The guardians of your darkness are opening their rooms and sending your darkness back to you so that you can BREATHE IT INTO THE LIGHT.

I’d like to stress something else at this point: don’t misjudge the dark energies, they are sending back to you. It isn’t any waste or trash you have to dispose of. It isn’t any dirt, which you have to clean. They are life energies, parts of yourself. They are aspects and forces of your mental integrity, your divine completeness of being. They are pieces of your life puzzle, which you took out and swept off the table long ago. Well, and the guardians of your darkness have picked them up from the floor, put them into your cellar and stored them there carefully on shelves.

And now, at this moment, your personal energy-darkness rises from your personal spirit-darkness-rooms, wants to become free and part of your light personality. That can be understood, can’t it?’

Victoria opens her eyes, returns to the kitchen from far away and finally says absent-mindedly: ‚Oh, yes. You must be a spiritual teacher.’

„Oh no. I should not be. I have just used my washing machine in the last few years. I’ve just taken all my grey energy back and breathed it into my light. So I got clarity and now I can see what I couldn’t see before.”

Before I explained the last topic, the collective higher light-darkness, I spoke about my last seven weeks in Wellington. I told her about my spiritual companions who had told me at the onset of my New Zealand trip that I wouldn’t be on holiday here but would be writing the last chapter of my book ’Death and Darkness’. They had announced that they would be placing all the necessary encounters on my path, which would help me realise what it is all about. This has indeed happened.

I told her about the inner encounters for weeks on end with a ripper, a black magician and a man who had lost his wife because of murder. I had never cried as much as during this time. For many hours, I did not feel myself, but drifted without a will of my own through the darkened hearts of unknown people, was exposed to their pain, fear and hate and for exactly this reason sensed their loneliness, despair and love.

I described to her how I opened the dark rooms of humankind and passed through them as an illuminated figure night after night. Darkness and cold flowed through me from the last caves, holes and ditches.

And I simply cried, breathed and sometimes only choked. How often my pillow was wet and the floor littered with soaked tissues! This is not schizophrenia, as ‚normal’ people might suppose, nor a megalomaniac healing fantasy but simple spiritual reality. Nothing else could have triggered either the infinitely deep pain in me, nor the kind of clarity I had never known before.

Victoria asks: ‚How is that possible? How could you enter those rooms?’

‚It does indeed sound mysterious but it’s quite simple. As you know, there are no boundaries between your body, your emotions and thoughts. The emotions and thoughts flow through the body and leave their residue there, and vice versa, your feelings and thoughts don’t keep their cool when your body reports pain.

Let’s suppose that there are no boundaries either between the firmly lodged energies in your subconscious and the spiritual light-darkness in your higher consciousness. The spiritual rooms send impulses (strokes of fate) into your physical life and absorb the energetic results (anger and pain), which originate in your physical life, into their spiritual rooms. At the end of your development, they send all energies from the spiritual rooms back into your physical rooms. So, there are no boundaries, either.

Let’s suppose as well that there are no boundaries between light and dark themselves. How else could they exchange roles when it becomes necessary? How could they communicate with each other in order to introduce the light or dark stake in your life? So, there are no boundaries, either. Now we’re getting to the collective higher light-darkness. If there are no boundaries between all the spheres of body, energy and spirit, of light and darkness, if all the rooms are open and attainable, then it must be plausible that there are no boundaries between the personal and collective light-darkness, either.

And indeed, our pain and anger, our fear and aggression are always bound to other people. We’re always upset about them or have feelings of fear or guilt towards them. It’s never just about us in this emotional drama across space and time. Therefore it is really logical that our personal higher darkness-light is connected with the collective higher darkness-light, isn’t it?

It isn’t a question if there are boundaries or not. The answer would be: there aren’t any. The question is if and how we gain access to these collective rooms. The answer is simple as well: we gain access to the dark rooms of others once we’ve acknowledged and opened our own dark rooms wide enough to allow the lodged energies to flow freely and change them into light force.

We gain access to the dark rooms of others once our own life is clear and balanced enough to face others. That doesn’t mean that we’re already completely free and above everything. Many hardened scabs and veils lift only by us entering the rooms of others because we’ll also find some things there, which are part of ourselves. We gain access to the dark rooms of others once we don’t judge them any more even if they show themselves to be gloomy and despicable. We gain access to the dark rooms of others when we manage to react to their darkness only with love. It is this unconditional love, which includes murderers as well as children, that unlocks the gates into the dark rooms of mankind.’

Victoria asks: ‚Do you love this way?’

‚Yes, I can’t help myself any more.’

‚Aren’t you afraid any more?’

‚Yes, from time to time I’m a little afraid. But that disappears the stronger this love becomes. It has become very strong during the last few weeks in Wellington.’

‚That’s the love of Jesus Christ, isn’t it?’

‚It’s the consciousness of Christ in which an aggressive act can only be responded to with love.’

‚Are you never angry or furious any more? Does that mean that you allow people to do with you as they please? Is there nothing you hate?’

‚Oh, sometimes I’m really pissed off. When I’m angry it’s better not to be near me. Please, understand this correctly: it’s not about not being angry any more (that exactly is the old drama). It’s about expressing this anger when it comes up, if possible before it has accumulated too much.’

‚Love’ doesn’t mean allowing others to lead you by the nose or to do things to you, you don’t agree to. Love can also say NO. But this NO is always a YES to life. Love is clear and strong. Love can also fight but with other means than fear. Love fights for life and not against it. With regard to hate, I’ve never been able to hate, not in this life, anyway. I could never bear a grudge. However angry I could be, things were ok again fast. Exactly because I always expressed it. That’s why I never had a serious illness. I was indifferent to people, I was too pre-occupied with myself. But I always preferred to love them, especially the so-called ‚baddies’, the ‚black men’ we were always warned against. Though I was afraid of them as a child, there was a deep compassion and even often a longing to be united with them.’

‚But let’s return to these stories from Island Bay when I drifted through the rooms of their darkness and breathed the darkness into light. While this was happening, I wasn’t myself. I couldn’t extract myself from there, I was delivered to them. I said that I had drifted through waves of infinitely deep pain and experienced a never known clarity afterwards, which also concerned my body. I had hardly eaten anything during these seven weeks, and my body had become younger, clear and strong.

When, in between, I went for an 8-hour-walk through the city, the rain forest or up a mountain, I felt no tiredness and I managed the walks in less time than indicated. This, too, is connected with the nightly events. By submitting to the darkness of these people, energies flowed though my body. Because these energies were firmly lodged, darkened light forces, they changed at the point of release. Because they were released through my heart and my body, they changed there and benefited me in their changed form. My body received great shares of lighter forces in this ‚dark service.’

‚Did you receive his power, the one from the...’

‚... from the one they call ’murderer’? Yes and no. The forces are not personalised. They don’t belong to anyone in particular. All of us have created those forces; we all use and hide them. We all divide them up, darken them and suffer from them. The effect of these forces is: what you withhold from others, you will miss out on yourself. What you give to others, you will give to yourself. One of these days, we’ll be releasing these forces, and we all will benefit from them.

I therefore didn’t receive strength, which really belongs to someone else and is now lacking in him. At best, I got back parts of myself, which I had once split off myself in another life and left with people now strangers to me. And on another level, this service has rendered an enormous increase in strength in myself. They shared their experiences with me. They gave me all the information they had hidden in the darkness of their feelings and thoughts. They presented me with the secrets of their darkness, and I’m handing them on to you. At the time, I couldn’t imagine how my spiritual brothers were going to put the ‚necessary encounters’ in my way. Now I’m clear about how it works.

It’s incredibly simple: the morning is brilliant, the sky is blue. My heart is open, my mood is receptive and my gaze is soft. I’m filled with a spirit of adventure and am looking forward to this beautiful day. At exactly this moment my host produces the photo of the murderer and warns me against travelling around on my own because he is on the run and might strike again. At the instance when the empty, cold gaze of this person focuses on me, it happens: the entire pain of his life, the trauma of his deed, which is just seven days old, hits me so hard, so violently and overwhelmingly, that I only just about manage to get to my room.

The dark wave has hit me and carried me with it. My inner organs are paralysed, my breathing seems cut off, and the adrenal glands already produce millions of rescuing hormones. I’m standing in my room, completely frozen. Everything inside me and around me is spinning. All hope for life shatters irrevocably. Inside me, a hole is opening, a deep black abyss. On the outer edge of my existence, I just about register that these are not my perceptions but his. Then my frozen state turns into its opposite and I collapse onto the bed - and sleep for many hours, dreamless and dark.

The openness, width and softness of my personal moment were used to make the opening to his personal rooms possible. His gloomy soul-energy wanted to free itself and was desperately looking for a channel through which it could change. I wanted to let my love flow freely and unconditionally. I simply wanted to live, joyously. Therefore the mediators only had to wait for a suitable moment in order to provide a confluence of these two streams. This way, access was open. And it couldn’t be access to a murderer but into the broken heart of a loved brother. The mediators were those I call ‚my spiritual brothers’, OUR spiritual brothers and sisters who love him the same way I do. Yes, I must have been in the rooms of darkness and death in order to be able to write about them. And there are enough doors, gates and mediators.

It isn’t easy. It can’t be planned. And when it happens, it’s unstoppable. It happens from out of higher worlds with incredibly great power and precision, and breathtaking love. Had I had an inkling of what would be coming my way here in New Zealand - I don’t know if I had gotten involved. But with hindsight, I wouldn’t want to have missed these experiences.’

I looked at Victoria and smiled.

‚Well, this is a current example from my life, from my spiritual washing machine. The same happens with you and all other people. Whenever you’re in the washing or spinning cycle, you can’t do anything but LET IT HAPPEN. When you allow everything that comes your way to flow freely, you give to others and are given something in return. He receives clarity, redemption and consolation through your love, and you receive experiences, information and wisdom which had been hidden away in the darkness for a long time, as well as a spiritual link to the beings of the higher darkness, to the bearers and guardians of these mysteries.’

On the one hand, Victoria is astonished, and on the other, she accepts and absorbs my explanations with ease. Then she asks:

‚How can I be safe from suffering in the future if I accept the darkness?”

‘Suffering and evil are results of the partition of Darkness und Light – the splitting of the poles as I explained earlier. When light becomes separated from darkness, it can’t breathe any more. When darkness is separated from light, it also suffocates. In this space of suffocated breath, suffering and evil come into being.

Imagine you are in genesis. ONE CRYSTAL. And then you come down from the spiritual dimensions to the energetic and physical spheres. This way you divided yourself into a male and a female, into a minus and a plus, into light and dark parts and then you are both. All the same, YOU ARE BOTH and ALL OF THAT.

And one day you divide these two SELVES. You put a wall between the light and the darkness. And you lose your living sphere while dividing these two. You are neither the darkness nor the light and not even the wall between them. You forget yourself, you forget you were a crystal and so you become dust. You changed from crystal into dust. These words, Jesus used 2000 years ago.

Simply take away the wall between your personal darkness and personal light. Decide on that, and it will happen. That is the beginning of great healing and reversal.’

Again, she says: “You must be a spiritual teacher.”

I say: ‘ Some people call me that. But I see this differently. I’m an engineer, an architect; I see the technical aspects of things. I realise how the human body is structured and how it functions, what importance there is to the various parts and the whole. I can see the connections between the emotions and the hormone system, between intentions and the energetic field, between the body and spirit. All spiritual processes and laws can be followed technically and logically, to a certain degree. They correspond to our bodies and earthly technology. Let’s look at computing. Combining the two basic elements 0 and 1 and developing them into infinite combinations created computer technology. This created the world wide web.

These days, you can create a connection with Northern England by pressing a button. By pressing a further button, you are offered pleasing bed and breakfast accommodation while physically being hundreds of thousands of kilometres away. And all this happens within 30 seconds.

I can tell you, the human body can do the same thing. In computer technology the barrier between 0 and 1 has been removed and allowed these two forces to flow together, the border between plus and minus....’

Victoria looks at me and says: ‚....and light and darkness!’

‚Exactly! It’s done in technology, and everyone is fascinated by the results. But they don’t do it with themselves. But by letting plus and minus, 0 and 1, light and darkness flow together within themselves, they can create a world wide web of their own divine power. They’d be safe from suffering and injuries, from evil and horror, simply because their higher light and higher darkness flow together and can constantly exchange with each other. And simultaneously, other people will be safe from suffering and pain, which are created through them. Because: how often do we suffer, though or BECAUSE we are causing suffering to others, consciously or subconsciously.

Don’t make conditions to yourself: this has to be, that mustn’t be. Don’t judge and condemn yourself any more: this is good and that is bad. Simply allow the stream of your life to flow, unconditionally, regardless if it flows straight through a calm wide lake in sunlight or dashes down a waterfall in thunder and lightning. Let be what is given. Let the drops of your life stream flow, regardless of direction. Don’t control anything, don’t forbid yourself anything. Trust in your Inner power and wisdom and the way things are moving, directed by LOVE.’

Her next question is:’ What shall I do, what’s my task? Everything has somehow finished and at the moment, I haven’t got any perspective. I don’t know what’s going to happen. You believe that you’ve come to Hobbit Hotel for me. You knew many things in advance. What can I do? What’s it all about with me?’

The answer is: ’There is no life path any more. There are no predictions or prophecies. They were tools of the old age. But now we’re in the New Age.

Up to May 2001 it was like this: we used to form our life path from within the spiritual space. We planned our path on earth before our incarnation and followed it after. All the encounters and strokes of fate, which accompanied us on our path or put obstacles in the way, changed direction or brought something unforeseeable into play, always had the purpose to keep us on the path. We ourselves had planned for all these aspects and determined that they should become effective when it seemed necessary.

Our original and actual spiritual intentions and decisions were visible in our higher energy field. For this reason, prophecy was also possible. The soothsayers, the fortune-tellers could read in our fields. They had a vision of the pre-formed spiritual life path of people and could read from them what the next steps or events would be. Now, things have changed drastically. Since May 2001, there hasn’t been a preformed life path anymore.

Imagine it as follows: you woke up in the morning all those years and millennia till May 2001. Every morning, your soul opened the calendar of life before the body was properly awake, to see what would be happening that day, what steps to take, what would be coming your way. ’So, this step today’, it would murmur, ‚ this decision-and, ah, this encounter I’ve been looking forward to for years, will take place today. Hm, and the ego will tremble!’ And with those words, it would have laughed into its sleeves and looked like a little devil for a moment. Well, then it would have closed the calendar with a thud and hidden it under the pillow. Both body and ego would at long last be fully awake and would allow themselves once again, without being aware of it, to be led through a day by the higher consciousness.

On May 7th, 2001 the soul was looking for the calendar in order to look at the day’s plan. But – oh - it couldn’t find it anywhere. There was no calendar. There was no appointment diary, no life plan, no preformed life path.

On this day, the soul, and even more so, the body with its entire physical consciousness, slid into deep irritation. Suddenly, there was nothing left by way of an anchor point for the inner person, the inner orientation. The One life-line it had been able to follow up to then didn’t exist any more, it had simply disappeared. In May 2001 all life paths had ended, not in the sense of having been ‚cut off’ or ‚destroyed’ but in the sense of having been ‚fulfilled’. The energy field of people, which up to then had contained all the information about their lives and which had so-to-speak kept them warm and calm, had disappeared. It felt peculiarly cool, empty and lost.

For this reason, Victoria, I can’t tell you what your task is. There is no field left in which I could read. You don’t have any task any longer. YOU ARE FREE. From now on you can do whatever you like. That means: you can do completely different things to those you have ever decided on or imagined and you’ll be successful. But you can also continue doing exactly the same you’ve been doing so far, with a standard and perfection you wouldn’t have thought possible before and you’ll be successful.’

Victoria beams briefly, and at the same time clouds appear again on her horizon. She suddenly talks about the predictions, about the apocalypse and about what is written in the Koran, about the ‚Last Age’ and the end of time. She asks: ‚ What about these wars, the tsunami, earthquakes and all these catastrophes?’

The answer:’ Yes, that’s an interesting and important aspect. It’s very simple to understand. But we’ll have to deviate a bit in order to make it comprehensible. Imagine you woke up on May 7th 2001, and there no longer were any calendar, diary, life thread, guidance. Your soul was without any orientation suddenly. There was nothing left to hold on to. Simply multiply this experience of the soul by the number 7.000.000.000 (7 billion).

Because it didn’t just happen to you but to all humankind. All humankind lost its orientation in this devastating inner way. Seven billion preformed life paths stopped existing. Not a single soul knew what was happening and where this was leading. They felt deeply within themselves that the old life had died.

All the concepts and constructions of physical life were shaken in their foundations. That sounds horrific! But we also contemplate it from another point of view: a gigantic freedom of the soul and spirit had been created. That again sounds fantastic! But this freedom initially had to lead to a deep disorientation and a lack of concepts because nobody recognised it or managed to handle it. It wasn’t even recognisable as FREEDOM, at best it could be sensed as an approaching threatening thunderstorm, which power and intensity, duration and destruction were not predictable. Moreover, it was impossible to predict what would be left of the soul-scape and the house of the body after this spirit-storm.

This lack of concepts and the sensing of disaster can be found everywhere in society, and all begin to arm themselves, to make things safe, to make do with less, to retract investments for the future and take rushed decisions which hadn’t matured yet. Hundreds of thousands of people went into depression, others into aggression. Some thought everything lost, others fought obstinately for what they thought to need.

Deep down, the end of your preformed life paths is nothing different - and now we’re back at the apocalypse and the so-called Last Age - as the bottom of your spiritual experiences after 288.000 years and the end of your captivity in your physical body.

Imagine your life path as a parable, which descended 288.000 years ago and has now reached its bottom. You have made your way through (let’s simply call it like that) the crystal, lime and dust ages and finally reached the lowest point of your dust age: the crucifixion and the rock tomb that leads to resurrection. It is indeed like this when we’ve become dust (compare ‚ A New Story Of Creation’), there’s no further development along this line. Then a turn around becomes necessary. This is that turn around. It isn’t a turn around of the body but of the spirit. After the physical consciousness has been untiringly active for centuries, it can now lean back and let its spiritual consciousness take the controls.

The crucifixion is the beginning of the free flow of gigantic forces of light and darkness through the narrow gorge of the human body and consciousness. We’ve given you an example via Sabine’s experiences over seven weeks in Wellington. Crucifixions what we also call ‚washing and spin cycles’.

For humankind and the earth, this point in time means THE TURN AROUND: light and darkness now exchange roles collectively. Light ascended for millennia (levitating energy) and darkness descended (gravitating energy). Since May 2001 light has been descending and darkness has been ascending. Humankind could completely relax. It could sleep, dance and allow their physical life to be cleared and brightened from the spiritual space because it is exactly that, which is happening.

But people are used to fighting. They are used to NOT getting what they want. They are used to NOT wanting what they’re entitled to: health, love, strength and freedom. These are very typical habits or characteristics of the dust age. They are profoundly used to it. For several years the chuff has been sifted from the wheat: one part of humankind continues fighting, is suffering like never before, and finally withdraws from the game. This is what you call ‚apocalypse’. Another part of humanity stops fighting, suffers, is crucified, lies in the rock tomb and is resurrected, stays in the picture. This is what WE call ‚illumination’. Both, the apocalypse (descent) and illumination (ascent) take place at the same time and in the same room. Both possibilities of continuing on your way are presently totally at your disposal. It’s only a question of your inner decision.’

‚What has that to do with environmental disasters?’

‚Humankind lives in a spiritual-psychological-physical union. Whatever it does, or doesn’t do, has an immediate direct effect on the earth. The grey, firmly lodged energies in their subconscious rooms are identical with the grey, firmly lodged energies in the energy rooms of the earth. All earth and water realms are identical with the emotional rooms of people. All air and fire realms of the earth are identical with the thought rooms of people. Now darkness is ascending and light is descending. Apocalypse and illumination also take place in the life rooms of the earth. It also gives off the gloom of feelings and thoughts it has stored for us, as well as the guardians and keepers of our dark rooms. It, too, becomes free of body-captivity and rises into spirit-freedom. This way it challenges us to let the released grey flow freely through the united light-darkness-spirit stream. Then it will be changed.’

Victoria asks: ‚What can I do to stay in the game?’

‚Nothing but keeping the living channel between light and darkness open within you. Invite them to flow into you and to exchange themselves within and through you. Allow them to enter your body and to balance themselves. Invite them to share your body with you.’

She asks: „Invite? Allow?”

‚Exactly that. That is dealing with the New Energy: invitation, permission and free flow. There are various forms for making contact with bodiless beings. The form of request, in the sense of begging, the form of request in the sense of invitations and the form of request in the sense of permission.’

She asks: ’What’s the difference?’

‚A dependent creature, a human being who doesn’t feel worthy, who still lives in fear and aggression, requests, pleads and begs for help when it’s needed. Such people don’t trust themselves because they sense a huge imbalance between themselves and other people, creatures and forces.

The awakened, enlightened person feels equal to all others. Such a person has arrived within themselves sufficiently to have gained a balance between themselves and the ‚rest of the world’. Such a person INVITES forces and beings to take part in his/her life and to develop it further together.

A person is a creator on earth if he/she has fully accepted his/her own spiritual power of creation. He/she deals lovingly and responsibly with it and allows its influence on the physical rooms. He/she ALLOWS other beings and forces to influence his/her life and that of others. He/she is conscious of all forces, their nature and purpose and allows then free access to his/her life. He/she is above these forces and lets them act because he/she knows that he/she has the greater power and that nothing can go wrong.

The question is where in the hierarchy do you perceive yourself. According to that, you’ll ask, invite or allow forces to act.’

She asks:’ How can I hear my inner voice and the voices of these beings?’

‚You hear them as your own thoughts, feelings and ideas. You sense them as your own intuition, as your own wish. And yet, for a long time, they are located next to your ego-thoughts, -wishes, and –ideas which like leading you astray. Inside you, they fight each other. Leave them to it. Give them space. Allow them to change places with each other, without you knowing who is who. Let them change places with each other, and don’t interfere. This way, you can relax very much internally, and your firmly lodged energies of fear and control (ego-energies) can be released and flow from you. Gradually, you’ll become clearer and can differentiate the voices from each other.

Your entire body, your life within duality, is focussed on CONSTANT EXCHANGE and FREE FLOW between the poles. You’ve got two feet, the right one walks for your earthly spirit (the ego), and the left one for your divine spirit. Don’t hop through your life on either ONLY your left or ONLY your right foot. Use both.

Don’t look too far ahead, don’t worry about the future. You can only take one step after the other. The greater your presence, the more brilliant your future. Your own spirit won’t show you the third step any more, unless you have taken the first. It wants to stay FREE. It wants to reserves its right for different decisions everywhere and at any time.

Don’t look back too much - let go of the past in your life, forgive, bless and release it. Don’t look up too much - into the light, or down too much - into darkness. Look at exactly where you are NOW and what is relevant now, HERE and NOW. Everything comes toward you at the right time and at the right measure. And when it comes, you’ll be ready. All exchange with each other and correct each other if necessary.

I’ll give you an example from my day yesterday: the left foot stands for my spirit. It says: I’m going in that direction. The right foot stands for my physical body, for my often wandering human state. It says: I’ll follow you in this direction. Then my left foot takes a step again and says: This step was marvellous, and now we’ll take another. Though the right foot drags on, it’s off in another direction, which doesn’t correspond to the wish of the spirit.

But it can’t enforce its will and get noticed because the right foot storms off, full of life and a sense of adventure and doesn’t receive any signals any more.

The left foot wires up to the spirit and says: ,Hey, she’s not listening to me! Do something! I don’t fancy shuffling along through the countryside for miles on end, when I already know that she’s on the wrong path. The higher spirit wires back: ‚Calm down, we’ve still got some time, we’ll send help at the last moment. She should at least notice.’

I had got off the bus too late and after walking for 2 km, I ended up in the wrong National Park. The local information board and my plan showed two different worlds. Oh shit, I thought, when I finally got that I’d slept the whole way, and there was no person for miles around I could ask.

Well, at exactly that moment, the tyres of a Range Rover screeched behind me, and a ranger from the regional forest authorities jumped out and said: Hey Ma’m, do you have a problem? Of course, I had one. He solved it and quickly drove me to the right entrance into the park. Through this short wrong turn, I actually saved myself a 3-km-walk and half an hour of time because the ‚right’ entrance into the park was much further from the ‚right’ bus stop than the ‚wrong’ park entrance from the ‚wrong’ bus stop.

The ranger had driven me to the gate. My left foot was most pleased, and the higher spirit got its will and delivered a good show.

This means: do what you think right and trust to be corrected if necessary. And be aware that this correction flows into your life very lovingly and gracefully, comparable to a small miracle.

The day before, I had reckoned with eight to nine hours for walking the 18-20 km in mountainous rain forest terrain, inclusive of breaks. In fact, it took me seven hours for 23 km. In the evening, I arrived at the bus stop, tired, and without a clue when the bus would go. It only came once per hour, and it arrived at the bus stop one minute after me. This is also an aspect of the inner voice, without having spoken to it - inner guidance.

This morning, sitting in the kitchen with Victoria, I felt no sign of tiredness, stiffness or anything else in me. My body is as fit as if I slept all day yesterday.

She asks: How is that possible?’

‚When there are no toxins, acids or remains of food in the body, no pains, doubts and aggression, when no fear energies are there, then that has various consequences. Firstly, it’s free of ‚resistant forces.’ Nothing is lodged there, nothing blocks anything and burdens it, and there’s no resistance against exterior movement. Without any doping, it makes its way more easily and faster than any other.

Secondly, it’s out in the “open field” and can communicate with all beings and forces, e.g. can fetch help as happened yesterday.

Thirdly, it’s within an ‚immortal field’ and cannot encounter danger. If it encounters ‚evil’, it happens in order to change this evil.

‚What has that got to do with eating?’

‚Yes, food plays an important role. It’s like homeopathy: the more you dilute substances, the more effective they become. The more you dilute your bodily substances (or spiritualise them), the more effective the physical-energetic-spiritual metabolism becomes. This has an effect on all levels of life. It doesn’t mean you have to stop eating. We can, if we want to. But there are also people who don’t want to stop. They enjoy food very much and transcend it already when swallowing so that no physical matter gets into the stomach, and no biological metabolism is necessary. I can’t do that yet. I need to decide if I want to eat or not, and then live with the consequences.

If I don’t eat, as was the case in the last six weeks in Wellington, my body switches from biological to spiritual-energetic metabolism. That leads to a dilution of substances and therefore to higher effectiveness. The finest substance of all which can be ‚metabolised’ is undifferentiated light. It’s a spiritual substance, free of physical matter and of energetic structure.

Undifferentiated light is without structure and therefore not recognisable and comprehensible by our human orientation which is bound to structure and matter. Yet this highest power of light, this pure and structure-less spirit, purifies our bodies, clears them and makes them immortal. This way it fills them with itself and becomes capable to radiate, because this spirit is not only a means but also a being.’

Victoria looks at me. Her gaze contains love and the pain of farewell. She’s looking for words. ‚ I wish you could stay. I still have so many questions. I wish I could have an effect like you.’

I answer: ‚Look, my path leads from wisdom (intelligence) to love. It’s in my nature to look for mysteries and discover them. It’s my task and delight to plant them through language and mind in the hearts of those who can absorb them through language. And yet, the mysteries originate from hearts, and that’s where they return in the end. My intelligence is the long way round, in a way. A long way round which many people take and still need.

But, believe me, it’s much simpler and more powerful, much less fuss, to awaken the mysteries of life through a gaze of the eye, the radiance of the heart and alive self-love in the heart of another person. You are a being of the heart. Your path runs via love to wisdom. You don’t need words. You do the same as me, without speaking.

You don’t speak about mysteries but they live inside you and you radiate them. People who are within the field of radiation of your heart go through the same experiences, cleansing and realisation processes as you who is sitting within my radiation field. They gain the same wisdom through your love as others gain love through my wisdom.

There is hidden power in you. Allow it to surface. It’s mercy, compassion, acceptance. It can also love those people who harm others. It has a deep understanding for their existence. It knows that they only harm others when they themselves are full of pain. Un-burden the ‚perpetrators’ in your heart and beam your love into theirs so that the eternal cycle of delinquent and victim is stopped.

Follow your heart, stay with yourself, close to your Self. Always return to your Self when you have been beside your Self. Return to your own power, to your own presence, to your HERE and NOW. Look at what is to be done here and now. Only that is meaningful. The future grows from your present power, from your presence in the HERE and NOW.

And when a power rises within you from time to time, which feels very negative, let it rise and rule for a while. Live these dark moments fully, don’t reject them. You’ll experience the day after the thunderstorm when the air is so pure, so clear and as alive as never before.

Keep it the same way with the days of clarity, light and sun, which carry you and let you feel light, let you fly. Live them to the full, yet don’t hold onto them. Let the next thundercloud approach. Live through everything, find the bright moments in the darkness and the dark spots in the light. This way, you’re bound to arrive at your Self, in the divine power of your existence.’

For Victoria and all of you who have read this, with love.
Sabine